Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
