He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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