Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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