Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
