The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
