Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Randomize
