Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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