OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
They took my balls.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
