A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize