I'm going to jail i love you
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
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using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
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am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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