I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
