its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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