if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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