I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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