I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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