Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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