Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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