My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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