I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
