She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
