I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
