well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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