Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
