Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
