Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
