That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
