drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
