if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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