how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
