Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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