dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
