i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
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