sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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