his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
