i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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