am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
