Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
