I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.