I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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