ADVERTISEMENT

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo

  Fav 16 5090 1043

  share tweet
  

• (713): View more from Texas

  on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left

  Fav 57 13745 1569

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?

  (713): View more from Texas

  lets deal with that after we figure out where i am

  Fav 21 11508 1645

  share tweet
  

• (216): View more from Ohio

  somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.

  Fav 17 9404 1436

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (970): View more from Colorado

  I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...

  Fav 4 3822 2126

  share tweet
  

• (636): View more from Missouri

  Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.

  Fav 6 2617 1637

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (952): View more from Minnesota

  I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.

  Fav 10 2705 1559

  share tweet
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.

  Fav 1 1296 595

  share tweet
  

• (210): View more from Texas

  I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish

  Fav 10 1305 673

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.

  Fav 3 712 600

  share tweet
  

• (309): View more from Illinois

  He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.

  Fav 11 782 1206

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (602): View more from Arizona

  Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.

  Fav 4 1363 533

  share tweet
  

• (419): View more from Ohio

  250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND

  Fav 4 780 291

  share tweet
  

• (504): View more from Louisiana

  sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy

  Fav 0 155 79

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.

  Fav 1 170 67

  share tweet
  

Randomize