Where are you?
In a non slutty way
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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