Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
