We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
