im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
