you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
