The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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