This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize