I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
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