The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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