I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
