He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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