the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
