Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize