it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
