Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
