We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
