What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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