she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
