When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
