TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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