I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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