just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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