you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
