oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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