He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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