saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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